So a while ago, I was at one of our local offices and it happened. A pretty girl walked in. Then something incredibly stupid happened; She smiled at me. Then something even more stupid happened; I smiled back at her. So I was preparing to leave, and the Cosmos decided to intervene and she left at the same time. We did all the normal stuff exchange numbers blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Which brings us to today, some 2 weeks later. I feel it's necessary to describe the events of this week so you can fully appreciate the insanity of it. But before that, I would like to point out one important fact: there's another 21 year old guy that she's "interested" in. No biggy, 21 year olds are idiots. Oh, the irony.
So, Monday-Wednesday we talk on the phone for longer than I've EVER had a phone connected to my face. God I'm glad I'm on vacation, but the events of those three nights left me with just enough sleep to require 6 cups of coffee and 3 ib profen each morning after. So Thursday night she calls, as per usual, and spurts out that I should come over for a movie after she completes her homework.
Now this came as a shock for a couple of reasons. The first, because the realization that I'm dating someone with freaking homework made me puke a little in my mouth. The second, because this was the first time we'd be meeting. She's been a little distant given the fact that she's still questioning if she wants to pursue a relationship with frat boy or me. How in God's name she's supposed to figure that out without going on dates is beyond me, but what do I know (Hint: See first sentence)?
So we meet, watch a movie, have an all around great time. Super. Stu-freaking-pendous. I don't hear from her Friday, no big deal, and then Saturday (today) rolls around. She texts me half-way through the day that she's having a really hard time deciding between frat boy and I, and she's a little depressed. I was thinking... what the? One "date" (it wasn't even a date) and she's already freaking out? So I reply that if this is too much for her, I will do the honorable thing (I didn't actually say it was honorable, but may as well highlight this fleeting moment of sanity), and step aside since I don't want her to be upset. I haven't heard back... that was 3 hours ago.
So as I sit here, looking at my phone, and back at my computer, I think to myself... what in the blue #$(* am I doing? I've gone on one pseudo-date with this girl, talked on the phone at all hours, and the drama llama has already paid its first visit. And yet, I haven't called and told her it's not going to work. But I did manage to figure out why. I'm an idiot.
UPDATE: So an update on my ever-evolving situation. We just got off the phone a moment ago, after a nearly hour long conversation about, among nothing else, alcohol-induced conquests. She closed the conversation with, "I'll call you later, but I'll probably be drunk." Terrific. Less than two weeks in, 1 semi-date later and I'm already going to get the drunk call.
Immediately after she hung I started weighing in on the possibilities. Is tonight going to be an anti-romantic, "I laove yoou sooo mucch?" Or am I going to get the "I juss dunno wat to doo," complete with drunken sobs and that sound people make when they are snorting snot back in their nose?
Yet, the most burning question, is why the heck didn't I give the, "You're a sweet girl, but..." speech? I had to consider the possibility she was a Siren. Granted, the more likely explanation of this is she's an EXTREMELY attractive 20 year old girl, and I'm a dude. And dude's, apparently regardless of age, are idiots. I still like the idea of a Siren better. Plus, the Siren Theory (as I'll hereby refer to it as), relieves me of culpability when this all blows up in my face.
Now, of course, I've totally screwed up any possibility of ending it quickly. I can't very well end it on a drunk call. That, will no doubt, result in a series of 100s of drunk texts. And she more than likely won't remember either the call, the breaking it off OR the drunk texts. I'm sure you see the same obvious conclusion I do. I'm going to get drunk. That way neither of us remember what the other says. I am an idiot.
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